My cousins Melinda and Sid are moving to Seattle soon, so they had a little going away party for family today at my sister Melissa's house. It started at 1 and I was scheduled to work at the zoo 'till 5, so I figured I probably wouldn't make it, 'cause they'd all be gone by 5:30. I actually managed to get off work early, though, and I arrived at Melissa's at about 4... just as everyone who remained was leaving. So I really didn't get to see anyone. They are having another party next weekend for the other side of their family, but I can't go to that, either, 'cause I work at the library from 1-6. I tried to make an effort to take off work so I could go to one of them, but because of a little bit of late notice and other schedule conflicts concerning Halloween, I just wasn't able to.
This seems to be happening to me a lot. If I get a chance to spend time with family or friends, I usually end up having to work. I basically have to plan at least a 4 weeks in advance to be certain that I can hang out. No day is automatically free. Between my two jobs, I have every other Friday off and I get random Saturdays off, but it's never guaranteed unless I specifically request it. I work almost every weekend, while everyone else I know has weekends off. It just doesn't fit together, and it's getting really frustrating, but there's nothing I can do about it without quitting one of my jobs, which is something I don't feel I can afford to do.
I keep wondering how much longer I can go on like this. I feel like work is all I ever do. It's nice not to have homework when I get home, and it's certainly nice to get paid, but is it worth losing time with family and friends? My instinctual answer is no, but I already feel like I'm not saving enough money, so if I quit a job, that would mean even less. I think next spring or summer, after I've been at each job for a full year, I might just have to choose one over the other. This summer I worked basically every day, and I really don't want to do that again.
If I knew I would be living here long-term, I would be inclined to try to look for a more permanent full-time position, but I'll probably be moving away at the end of next year, so I don't feel comfortable doing that. I wish I knew what was going to happen.
