Friendship

Patient listening
Absorbing my affliction:
Unspooling. 

Affirming words
Spoken with conviction:
Needle threading. 

Unwavering concern
Overflowing with affection:
Knotting the end. 

Personal struggles
Offered as connection:
Piercing through scar tissue. 

Unconditional embrace
Free of intuition:
Stitches weaving in and out. 

Luminescent empathy
Reaching its fruition:
Excess strands are tied and cut. 

My heart is sewn back together.

Promise

I’m sorry
I did not protect you.

I believed her when she said
You weren’t enough.
I believed him when he said
You were too much.
I believed them when they said
You needed to conform.

But I will fight for you now.

I will disarm the bulldozers
Who deny your lived reality.
I will slap away the hands
That try to toss you aside.
I will slay the demons
Who whisper in your ear
That you are invisible.

If you trip on the cracked asphalt,
I will help you back to your feet.
If they drive away and leave you behind,
I will turn around and come back for you.
If you get lost exploring off-road trails,
I will not rest until I find you
And wrap you in a warm blanket.  

I will not shove you in the vault
When I’m afraid of what they will think.
I will not stay silent
While they describe you as inherently broken.
I will not disrespect you
By saying your presence is a burden
That no one should have to bear. 

Your
Existence
Is
Beautiful. 

When I look in
The Mirror,
I see the
Tattered mask
You had to wear
As Armor
While I was absent.

You are not alone anymore.
I am here with you now.
I love you.

Failure is the Only Option

There is no way to learn

If something is right

Without finding out

How it is wrong.

Fall on your face.

Bleed.

Feel ashamed.

Hide.

Find some footing.

Slip.

Let the scars remind you

That you tried.

Hold out your hand.

Share the weight.

Begin to heal.

Joy will peak through

The cracks of your wounds

As they mend.

Let the scars remind you

That you lived.

Now do it all again.

Listen

Stop.

Wait and listen.

What can you decipher from the sounds deep down?

Don’t let the buzzing drown it out.

Focus on the thumps,

The stirs,

The pumping.

It may be faint, but it yearns to be heard.

Let it speak.

Let it sing.

Let the voice inside confide in you.

Accept its truth.

Accept its love.

Accept the shift the gift imbues.

For it to be felt, you must feel it.

For it to be seen, you must see it.

For it to be heard, you must hear it.

Quiet.

Wait and listen.

Just listen.

Poem for Jaymeson

It pierced your heart continuously
Until the pain seemed normal,
But numbness never came.

It blinded your eyes
From the vision of the future
And the hope residing there.

It chilled your bones so completely
That the warmth of others
Could not persist.

They might say
The cause of death is weakness,
But weakness doesn't burn away hatred with flames of love.
Weakness doesn't persevere through raw fingers and broken toes.
Weakness doesn't create joy in the face of utter darkness.

This was not some passing shadow.
This was the malignant manifestation
Of something that stirs within us all.

If a young heart is open, it can be infiltrated,
And a bright soul's light attracts demons.

They might say
The cause of death was the fall,
But the demons know better.

We will choose to remember the smirking, shimmering truth of You,
Not the lie of darkness.
And we will breathe until we can do so without weeping.

Declaration of Independence from Insecurity

(An exercise from Keeping a Journal You Love by Sheila Bender)

You have prevented me from being myself.

You have prevented me from having fun.

You have made me anxious.

You have made me bland.

You have made me silent.

You have restrained my sense of humor.

You have restrained my sense of dignity.

You have caused me to pretend.

You have caused me to hide.

You have caused me pain.

You have hindered my ability to laugh.

You have hindered my ability to cry.

You have held me in the dark.

You have held me under water.

You have held me back.

I will not allow this anymore.

I will be me.

I will live truth.

I will refute anger.

I will bask in solitude.

I will embrace uncertainty.

I will hold onto my principles.

I will prize my "guilty" pleasures.

I will grow to be a person I admire.

I will show the world who I am.

I will agitate my comfort zone.

I will admit my weaknesses.

I will honor my intuition.

I will fly my freak flag.

I will trust my Self.

I will forgive.

Here's a poem

I've really enjoyed my poetry class this semester. I've learned a lot, met new people, and expanded my writing versatility a bit. I think of myself as an ok writer, but the poem I wrote for class today turned out pretty well, and it didn't even take long to come up with. Usually I have to ponder and revise a lot, but this one came out quite easily. It's, in part, a response to Alice Walker's poem "Loving Humans."

"The Adult Conspiracy"

All people are

Children

Even the ones

Who call

Themselves

Grownups.

They say

They are

Too old

To fool around

Or waste time

But they

Want to.

They pretend

To be what

They call

Mature

But they

Don't want to.

They have

Their manners

Their debates

Their campaigns

Their wars

But they

Just want to

Play.

Parents say

They act

Silly

For their

Kids' sakes

But it's

Also for

Their own.